Christmas 2007 Monday, Dec 31 2007

Jenny asked how our Christmas was…It was wonderful. Hubby’s been off work for what will be 11 days using up the last of his found vacation (we thought he was out, but there was a miscalculation…that kind I can handle!).

My parents came Christmas eve (they live an hour away), had dinner with us and then we went to candlelight service. That was the first time the boys got to do a candlelight service and they liked that. We also got to see the stable animals. Then home and put the kids to bed. Alex was still wandering around at 9:20, but he finally got to sleep and Santa came. (Yes, we do Santa, but we don’t make a big deal about that. He brings them each a present (usually the thing they want most) and puts candy canes on the tree.)

Christmas morning was wonderful. We had to wake Sam up (Alex got up at 7!) around 7:30. Alex had opened his stocking gifts already. They had a blast opening all the presents. There were lots…but they were little things. Alex’s favorite was a cat puppet (the thing looks so real it’s scary) and Sam was thrilled with his war planes set that he’s wanted. They were very happy and content with all they got. It was nice to see them be so.

Then we had ham dinner with simple fixings (I’ve finally learned not to over do it when there are only 6 of us. This way I get to enjoy the day too.) Mom and Dad went home around 4, we made phone calls to the far away family and played with presents and went to bed. It was a good day.

The rest of the vacation has been good too. We made a list of things we wanted to do (some work, some fun (like watch Pirates of the Caribbean 3 which was dreadful), some schedule things (like a soccer game) and assigned dates at the beginning of vacation. We have gotten lots of things done, and have still been relaxing and enjoying ourselves.

I count many blessings this week. Family, friends, food, gifts, happy kids, a husband with whom I have a great relationship, companionable pooches and so many more. I’m looking forward to 2008. And I wish you all a happy, healthy and blessed New Year.

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A Good Day Saturday, Dec 22 2007

Today was a very good day. Ran a couple of errands early before the crowds were heavy and I got the last couple little things bought. Cleaned the house. Wrapped all the presents while Brian took the kids to Alex’s soccer game. Whew! Then baked the last of the Christmas cookies. Yum. Orange chocolate chippers. Walked the dogs because it was warm and sunny. Made a yummy dinner of italian sausage sandwiches. Now the boys are reading through the Christmas story on the advent calendar. Baths for the boys and a movie are up next. It’s been a very good peaceful but full day.

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A Good Gift Friday, Dec 21 2007

Rieger the dog was visiting for the last few weeks. If I haven’t mentioned this before, Rieger was our second Canine Companions for Independence puppy. He was a handful, I was really pregnant and so he finished his training with another puppy raiser. When he was released from the program (while chasing geese, he nearly took his trainer into a pond) she kept him, but it’s always been understood that we have visitation rights. We keep him when she goes on vacation and sometimes he visits for fun. The latter has happened a couple of times since the loss of Carla.

While he was here recently Brian got a really awesome portrait of him. I had one blown up to an 8×10 and framed it with a simple frame from Kohls, wrapped it and gave it to Marty when we met to turn Rieger over into her care. She loved it. She was so surprised and felt bad she didn’t get me anything. I didn’t care. I wasn’t looking for a gift from her. I just wanted to share with her something I knew she would like. That was giving. That was joyful…on both of our parts. And I realize that that’s what the spirit of Christmas gift giving is supposed to be. I have become too wrapped up in wish lists (both mine and others) and giving to get it done. How I want to give gifts that mean something…really bring joy. I would like to strive for that more often.

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A Little Peace Wednesday, Dec 12 2007

I don’t know what it was today, but I had a delightful sense of peace around dinner time. School this morning was stressful dealing with a bad attitude (child’s, not mine today). After school we ran an errand…even more stressful with my sending child out to the car (very small, quiet place where I could safely do that). We came home and the boys went upstairs for quiet time. And I sat with a cup of tea and cross stitched. For an entire hour. And day dreamed about the children’s book I’d like to write. Somewhere in there the clutter in my brain fell into neat, orderly rows and left me feeling peaceful.

At the end of quiet time we went outside and cleaned up the yard. It was nice to get a few minutes of sunshine. Then I came inside and started work on dinner. And while I made dinner I was busy doing several things at once (pizza, salad, dessert, convincing Sam to clean up the mess he had made, that no one was going to help him and that was okay, and getting dogs fed, out, and then feet wiped) and it was all okay. Busy, but not crazed.

I need to make that happen again because even several hours later I still have some of that peace. And, truthfully, I’m a much better mother when I feel like this.

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Still Missing Her Tuesday, Dec 4 2007

It’s quiet time right now, when the boys are asked to spend an hour alone and quiet in their rooms. I get a break, and they get a break from each other which keeps them from wanting to kill each other by 4:00. I’ve been catching up on their baby book pages. I don’t scrapbook, but I have always filled out a page a month for what the boys were up to. They’re going to have very complete information for their autobiographies.

I was catching up on February and March. Never have I been so long in filling out a month. But in February and March, Carla was sick and dying so we were busy with other things. But I want their books to be mostly complete, so I filled them, if vaguely. But it’s still really hard to think about that time. About our last weeks and days with her. And my calendar is filled with her temperatures and medicines. And it’s just hard to look at that and not be sad.

My life and my house are filled with dogs-Louie, who has seen so many other dogs come and go, Britta, a beautiful and loving creature who we think will go far as a service dog, and even a visiting Rieger dog, who we raised, was released, but still comes back to visit. But there is still a Carla-shaped hole. There are times when I can think of her and smile now, but thinking about when we were losing her still breaks my heart. I still miss you, pretty girl.

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A Good Dog Book Tuesday, Nov 20 2007

I had heard about this book somewhere online, and though it sounded good, I ignored it figuring that even seven months after losing Carla I wasn’t ready for a dog book. Then Hubby reserved it at the library and brought it home for me. Well, it was here. I might as well look at it. Forty-eight hours later I had read the whole thing and was sobbing uncontrollably on the couch while Hubby looked on wondering what he had done.

Merle’s Door is a wonderful story about Merle-a stray dog the author finds while on a rafting trip and brings home. Merle is an incredible dog with an amazing personality, and Kerasote does a wonderful job of interpreting Merle’s voice. (“You need a dog and I’m it.”) Kerasote combines the stories of Merle’s adventures with lots of research into the lives and histories of dogs and wolves in an educational and engaging way. (He also made me want to move to Wyoming with his description of the wildlife and the beauty of the place.)

Merle’s story ends, like they all do, far too soon for the likes of us longer lived humans. But before I had to say goodbye to Merle I had fallen in love with him which made the end harder and yet somehow bearable as well. Reading about Ted’s care for Merle through the end somehow helped me deal a little more with the grief I still carry with me for my furry girl.

I’d highly recommend this book.

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Today Tuesday, Nov 20 2007

Here are the things (I think) I did right today:
*Called off homeschool for today and tomorrow. I’m tired, Alex looked like he could use a break and my attitude with school has been too critical and too serious.
*Read some of a good book to the boys.
*Crafted turkeys with the boys to give to neighbors.
*Took the boys to the zoo to see the Christmas lights display (yes, it’s early, but it was warm today).

Things I did wrong today:
*Spent too much time getting lost on the internet.
*Spent too long on the phone with a friend rehashing the same problem.
*Grumpy and edgy with the boys after a while of making turkeys.
*Did not play (stuffed) animals with Sam.
*Did not get the dogs out to run in the field.
*Not patient enough with two very chatty boys at the zoo.
*Did not drink enough water.

Things to do tomorrow:
*Lighten up and laugh more.
*Play animals.
*Include Alex more and criticize less.
*Make cookies and have fun having the boys help.
*Get the dogs out in the field.

No comments necessary. I’m just typing this out to help myself see a pattern of what I’m doing right and what to avoid/needs work.

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Making the Best of a Situation Tuesday, Nov 13 2007

Yesterday morning was a bad morning for homeschooling. Several factors came together to get us off to a bad start. We fought our way through math.

But the question then became, “Now what?” Do we slug through more school or do we call it quits for the day. In a change to my normal reaction, we called it quits on homeschool. The formal part anyway. The kids went and played and I readjusted my attitude and made a grocery list. After lunch we got ready to head to the grocery store and on a whim (or Divine Inspiration) I grabbed a calculator.

At the store I handed it to Alex (7, 2nd grade) and asked him to add up what we were spending. His eyes lit up. He did a great job keeping track, and it gave us a chance to put decimals to work, to discuss rounding to the nearest dollar and ten-dollar, to weigh things and figure out cost (The bananas were conveniently $0.44/pound and we bought 2 1/2 pounds.), and to talk about budgets and multiplication and subtraction and addition all in a practical application. It was wonderful and we both got a lot out of it. His final tally was $85, and our total was $86. He was quite proud to be so close (after we explained why being a dollar off was a very small margin of error and tax on a couple of items also explained the difference).

Oh, and Sam, 4, even found a way to participate. He counted each item as we put it in the cart.

I’d like to find more things like this to do. Practical application makes concepts stick better, and for Alex, well, he’s more willing to work at it if there seems to be a reason for it. But I think doing this is harder than it sounds, at least for me, but I’m willing to try. I felt good having turned a very bad morning into a memorable experience.

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Blessings Abound Friday, Nov 9 2007

Oh, there are many but so far my favorite today was making out big time at my favorite little grocery store. It is little. It’s an old italian grocer with the best meat counter ever. They are 71 years old this month. And so they celebrate with a sale, of course. I stocked up. We waited 30 minutes for our turn, but it was worth it. Everything is packaged up in dinner size packages and headed for the freezer.

Here’s what I bought:
10 lbs of boneless chicken breast (6 meals)
12 links of italian sausage (3-4 meals)
2 lbs of boneless chicken thighs (1 meal)
10 pounds of ground chuck (10 meals)
4 lbs pork chops (3 meals)
3/4 pound olive salad just for fun.

Total: $65
Amazing! And there is not a better time to stock the freezer than now as I hate grocery shopping around the holidays.

Thank you, God, for this opportunity. Bless this food so that we may put it to good use and be generous to others with it as well.

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Homeschooling: Year Two Sunday, Oct 28 2007

We are about 9 weeks into our second homeschooling year. This year has gone much smoother than the first. In reading lots of homeschool blogs, I’ve heard several times that the first year is the hardest. In our case this seems to be true. There were a lot of battles of wills in our house last year. This year things are more peaceful and more consistent.

What I continue to see are the increased blessings on all of us because we are homeschooling. I see Alex, 7, maturing and figuring things out. I see Mom, 35, maturing and figuring out how to do things better. I see all of us drawing closer together as a family. I see my boys becoming best friends and learning (with guidance) to relate to each other.
Having them home for the best hours of the day and not being rushed to be here and there allows us the time to work through problems and not brush them off or just get past it. Homeschooling also gives Alex plenty of time to read which is something he loves. He’s reading books meant for 4-6th graders, and this week he’s been reading one of his favorites to his dad.

The main point is that I am glad we stuck with it and didn’t give up because the first year was rough. I’m also grateful to God for bringing us here and helping us work our way through the tough times. It’s been a worthwhile journey that I am glad to continue.

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