I don’t know what was in the air, but both Alex and Sam had bouts of missing Carla. Alex wrote his journal entry about her saying, “The thing I miss most about Carla is that she obeyed us.” And Sam was talking about how he’d take her stuffy toy and run around so she would chase him. They both enjoyed that game. Sam said, “I wish on the last couple of days that she could run that I would have done that with her.”
A Visit from Carla Thursday, Apr 19 2007
A little after 6 this morning while I was somewhere between wake and sleep, Carla crept up the stairs…slowly, cautiously, as if she wasn’t sure if she was welcome or allowed to come. And then my arms were wrapped around her neck, my face buried in her thick mane. She was warm and solid and there. And then she was gone and I was awake, but I could still feel the sensation of her in my arms and peace.
You are welcome to come visit anytime, pretty girl.
Hope. Monday, Apr 9 2007
When you get a puppy from Canine Companions for Independence they come with a name. As such, Carla came named as Carla II. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t give them a middle name. Carla became known as Carla Louise. I don’t know why…maybe something to do with Louis our other dog. It just sounded good.
But in her later years Carla became known as “Carla Hope” because that was what she was always full of. Hope that you’d share some scraps. Hope that you’d take her outside. Hope that you’d walk her or throw her a second or third treat.
And so it feels right that I have a little hope now…a little hope for happier days. On May 16th one of these little pups will be coming to live with us for the next year:
There are 11 puppies. We’re getting a female. I’m hoping Carla will send us the right one.
And for the record, this has been a tough decision. I know I won’t get a replacement for Carla. This pup won’t fill her void. But this pup will make me smile. And Carla would want that. She never liked it when we felt sad. She’d want us to have hope and laughter and puppy love again.
Heartfelt Thanks. Wednesday, Apr 4 2007
Healing 8:06 pm
Those who have left comments regarding the recent loss of our dog Carla have been so kind. It’s amazing how little words left on a computer screen help to ease the pain. Truly I am grateful and blessed by all of your kindness and prayers now and as we faced her sickness.
Thank you. And God bless you for your kindness and comfort.
Comments Off
April Tuesday, Apr 3 2007
Warrning: Very sad thoughts ahead. Do not feel obligated to read, comment, etc.
So, it’s April and the weather is beautiful (for today anyway) and the Bradford Pear trees are blooming as are my daffodils. For the second year in a row I face trying to heal from a loss in this beautiful month. Many years ago I had a miscarriage around this time of year. Bradford pears are becoming my symbol of mourning.
Brian has taken the boys to soccer practice, and I’m having this awful debate about taking a walk. I’d like to go. It would be good for me to go. But how can I go without Carla? Louie would love to go, but I’m not sure I can bear that yet. And going alone just doesn’t seem possible either.
Feeding times are bad. Giving only one dog breakfast and dinner is so sad. Giving only one pill at morning and at night is painfully easy and leaves me feeling as if I’ve left some thing undone (especially after the pharmacy that Carla was taking daily).
Hubby’s been home from work. That’s made today bearable. I’m scared about tomorrow.
And finding her hairs here and there. What do you do with them? I take them outside and let them blow away and wish for something good for her in heaven and try to think of a memory that makes me happy. And I have to believe that there are dogs in heaven. I can’t imagine never seeing her again. I have to believe she’s in heaven playing with Dave who never had a dog.
She was only 8. We had been thinking about getting a CCI puppy again later this year to raise, but we always thought that we should definitely do that by the time she was 10 so she could continue to help raise them and maybe by the time she did go we’d have found a keeper in the release dogs. Part of me thinks it’s okay. I certainly don’t want a replacement. I’d just hoped there would be someone already part of the family to ease the transition. It’s hard to explain why Louie isn’t quite it.
I miss you, Fuzzy Bear. So very, very much.
Dave Quilt for Brian Wednesday, Mar 14 2007
Healing and Uncategorized 7:00 pm
As you may recall I had made a quilt for our late friend Dave’s parents out of his t-shirts.
Even when I finished that I still had shirts left over-mostly plaid button downs. What to do with them? In an issue of Fons and Porter’s Love of Quilting (itself a birthday present from Hubby) came the inspiration. Their “Flannel Brick Road” was the perfect solution of how to blend multiple plaid patterns.
Somehow I managed to keep this proect a secret and I totally shocked Hubby on Christmas morning with it. It’s a nice keepsake of his friend.
It is hard to believe we are approaching the one year anniversary of this loss. He is greatly missed.
Upcoming stuff and other random thoughts Friday, Aug 18 2006
Family and Healing and Sewing/Crafts and Whatever 1:48 pm
You probably won’t see me here much the next few days. We are having new carpet installed in our family room and office on Tuesday. This, of course, means dismantling the entire office. Fun, fun, fun…
In other thoughts, I sure have appreciated all your encouragement, prayers and support regarding my friend. I see God at work in this situation already. I know that right now is not the time to talk to her about it. She’s having a difficult time with her husband, and I don’t want to add to her troubles. It’s not that urgent. And things seem to be improving slightly right now anyway. Our last couple of phone conversations have been more in depth and…better. I may still need to approach her on this subject, but I am committed to doing it at the right time, the right way and from the right attitude (love and hope). I believe God will show me the right time and give me the right words.
I have a parenting thought I wanted to share. I shared this with the moms at playgroup yesterday and they went, “Wow, what a good idea.” I have started telling my boys to not complain. Instead, ask for a solution. Instead of, “Mom, I’m hungry.” say, “Mom, may I please have a snack?” Instead of “I can’t find it.” say, “Please could you help me find my pencil?” It’s been helpful and will be more helpful when they make a habit of it instead of having to be reminded.
Remember Dave and Julie’s quilt that I was working on? Well, I accidently sent photos of it to Dave’s parents. I’m frustrated with myself for a silly mistake, but they love it. I think they’ll love it even more when they see it in person. But since they’ve seen it, I can post them here.
Here’s Daves:
Here’s Julies:
We hope to be seeing Dave’s parents in a couple of weeks to present it to them.
The borders between the t-shirt squares are also their clothes. Dave’s plaids are from button down flannel shirts and Julies blue flannel are from her favorite pajamas. I think I’m going to try and put up directions on how I did this. When I started I tried to find directions and they were not as thorough as what it took to get these done.
Have a great weekend!
Wrap up Friday, Jul 28 2006
Healing 9:55 am
Dave Day was a nice event. Spotty rain, but lots of food and good company and an ideal event for the kids-which Dave would have especially loved. Did I mention lots of food? Yep. Lots. Left. Over. Two fridges and two freezers full.
Today we are taking it easy. Lots of cartoons this morning. Returning some borrowed items. Trying to give away more food.
Regular blogging resumes when I’m rested.
Happy Dave Day! Thursday, Jul 27 2006
Healing 7:29 am
So let’s raise up a glass
To our friends not around.
And lift up another
For the new friends we’ve found.
As the day fades to night
We must bid you adieu
But we’ll always remember
This time here with you.
-Raise Up a Glass, by Seelie Court
It is Finished. Sunday, Jul 2 2006
Healing and Sewing/Crafts 2:04 pm
Dave and Julie’s quilt is done.
I’ll get pictures posted up here soon.
Part of me thinks it’s great. Everyone who’s seen it thinks it’s fantastic. Part of me knows where all the imperfections are. I’ll feel better when we get it to his parents (I don’t know when.) It really has been a good way with dealing with grief. Do something for someone else. It puts your focus elsewhere…other than wallowing in your own sadness. I’ve had my moments where it’s made me really sad too. But it’s done. Overall I’m pleased.
I’m cleaning my sewing room. I’m going to try to make a new habit of cleaning the sewing room after I finish a project. I’m hoping if I organize it well that the cleaning after a project will be limited to storing scraps and moving the sewing machine to vacuum. I really need a way to organize my thread and bobbins. I have one thread stand but I outgrew it with my thread collection long ago. I’m going to go dig in the basement for a bobbin storage solution.
Now I am anxious to get to the quilt store (Wednesday). I need to get backing for Sam’s bunny quilt, and I’m also picking out fabric for my next project-a 30″x45″ American flag quilt to hang in our family room. What I’d really like to do is make 4 small quilts to fit that space, each for a different season. I’ll start with the flag because it’s going to be easy. I’m looking forward to tackling a small project…everything else I’ve worked on lately has been big and heavy.
