What’s the Plan? Thursday, Jun 21 2007

Nine years ago this month I miscarried my first pregnancy. That baby was due December 6th. On December 31st of that same year a fuzzy golden retriever was delivered into our lives. I had no idea that Carla would become an incredibly special part of our lives. If I had not lost that baby we would never have adopted Carla. Good came out of grief.

Five weeks ago we began the puppyraising journey again. I find myself staring at this pup with the different colored eyes and wondering what good will come out of my grief. Who needs this pup I am raising? Why did she need me to raise her? I don’t know.
But I trust there is a plan, God’s plan, a reason that I may or may never understand.

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I’m Back… Friday, May 4 2007

Hubby mentioned that I was gone this week. Well, I’m happily home now.
Where was I? Let’s just say it was a working vacation. It was a good experience for me, a good chance to get away and get some perspective. It was also a chance for Brian to see how much I do (he appreciates me much without this, but this is a good real life reminder) and, strangely, it’s a chance for me to see how much I do. Sometimes, I worry that I don’t do enough or I’m tired and I shouldn’t be. When I see how tired he is trying to balance it all I know I’m not being weak or whiny. I’m tired for a reason.

Thanks so much for prayers for my friend. They are working! Although they have a long winding road to go things are getting on the right path. I am so grateful and have been on my knees in gratitude. God is very, very good.

Being away I sort of feel like I’ve been in a time warp. But here are my wishes for May (even though we’re a few days in):

May it be a month of peace.
May it be a month of new beginnings.
May it be a month of happiness and joy.
May it be a month of good health.
May it be a month of companionship and friendship.
May it be a month of rest in the Lord.

May you all have a wonderful month!

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Please Pray Friday, Apr 27 2007

April’s been a rough month here. Starting with Carla’s passing, the anniversary of Dave’s death, and, well, things have only gotten more, uh, complex. Hubby and I feel like we’ve been treading water all month. We’re pretty worn out.

But today I talked to my friend M., and she’s in a very very worrisome family situation. I can’t give details, and there’s nothing I can do but pray for her and her family. M. has been there for me for so much. I want so badly to help her so I thought I’d ask for all of my online friends who have been so good to me to say a prayer for her and her family that they get through this difficult time with good results. Sincerest thanks.

I hope to be back in May with better news.

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Being a Blessing Sunday, Apr 1 2007

Our children’s minister gave a great sermon last Sunday on Being a Blessing. I really enjoyed it as it was uplifting and encouraging and something I can remeber to take with me. If you have 15 minutes give it a listen.

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Weekend in Review Monday, Mar 19 2007

We had a good weekend. We met my parents at a Der Dutchman restaraunt for lunch on Saturday. Mmm yummy yummy food. Then, since it was just across the road, we took a spin through the Amish furniture store where I found a potential coffee table for the living room. Then we ran a few other errands…including a trip to the yarn store, the toy store and the Ohio Wildlife Center to drop off a squirrel box made by Brian and the boys. While we were there we got to see them working on an injured Red-tailed hawk. Interesting to watch them at work. Sad that there is the need.

Sunday was church and baking a ham for our small group potluck. Yummy ham. And the get together was fun. We are going to continue our small group with a study of the book of James. Our last class was interesting, but not a bible study. This will be a good change.

So after everyone left last night we cleaned up-including slicing the remainder of the ham and setting the bone aside. Carla got to have that as a special treat this afternoon. She was tail wagging happy. Nice to see. She’s okay, but she’s tired. I continue to snuggle her when I have the chance.

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On Improving Relationships Friday, Feb 23 2007

I have in the past had some issues with a neighbor of ours. Nothing really major. Just some things that made me feel uncomfortable in her presence. Which was not good because I saw her weekly at playgroup, and I didn’t want to give up playgroup because the boys enjoyed it.

So I made a resolve. I was going to be extra kind to her. And I was genuinely kind (I didnt flatter her falsely or anything like that). I looked for opportunities to show I care about her, that I was interested in her and her family. And it’s worked. She’s been much nicer to me. Little things have changed, but it’s made a big difference. I no longer feel uncomfortable with her. It’s been a great example of how you can take a situation and grouse about it and make it worse or follow Christ’s example and make it better.

I’m very happy about this, and now I’m looking forward to trying this on other relationships-even ones that aren’t troubled-to see how I can make them blossom.

Who could you be extra kind to today?

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Lost in My Thoughts Friday, Feb 16 2007

I’ve been trying to keep up with the things going on around here. For one I’ve been spending time with Carla-who is still doing just fine. (The latest blood test showed her blood to be completely back to normal. We are weaning her off the prednisone and will test again.) She’s been loving the attention, and I have not forgotten the lesson of nearly losing her.

We also celebrated a birthday today. Our younger son turned four today. He’s treating it like a big deal. He has given up diapers at night, is trying to stop sucking his fingers and is generally feeling as though this is a big step. I sometimes worry that because he’s the baby and has more people helping him that he doesn’t know how to put his mind to do something. This week he is showing a strong streak of determination. It’s wonderful.

When you ask my kids what kind of cake they will have for their birthdays they will not answer with chocolate or vanilla. They will tell you what picture goes on the cake. This can lead to confusion. For example, at their annual checkup yesterday Sam’s reply to the question was that he was having a Guinea Pig cake. All our pediatrician could think of was some Racoon Festival she’d heard about…as in rodent as ingredient, not decoration.

Here’s Sam’s cake.

He loved it. It was yummy.

We had a homeschooling adventure this week. I took Alex to a chess class demo. He enjoyed it (except for one minor incident.) He enjoyed the teacher (a former champion who’s been teaching kids chess since 1987) who is a funny guy. We signed Alex up for 6 weeks of lessons, and he’s excited. I also got to meet some moms who were very nice. And I’m hoping that I can get together with one of them who had a son same age and interests as Alex.

The thought on my mind today has been about this quote:

“No one knows what effects prayer and good (or bad) wishes have on our temporal world. Any effect we might attribute to prayer will always have at least one alternative explanation. I believe this to be by design; among other things, it prevents prayer from being conflated with sorcery.” (via Wittingshire)

Sure fits with our Carla dog miracle.

Another thing I’ve been pondering is Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Mains that I finished reading this week. It was recommended here.

One of my goals for myself this year has to be to flex my “hospitality muscles.” I have good intentions, but I just don’t do it. I’ll have good plans, but I chicken out before I get very far. The author makes a good point about avoiding company because of imperfection (like not having everything perfectly clean or not having every decorating project completed.) That’s pride. And being perfectionistic can make others uncomfortable. So I’m learning to not fret about a few dirty dishes in the sink or the lack of furniture in the living room.

Her book is encouraging. Sometimes she has firm, almost harsh, reminders about the kind of love and hospitality we’re to have. But it has been helpful in teaching me to see hospitality as important for God’s kingdom. I am looking for more opportunities to be hospitable and use my gifts for the good of the kingdom.

Now it’s time to pet the puppy and curl up with a cup of tea. Enjoy your weekend.

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If You Look for Miracles, You Will Find Them Tuesday, Feb 6 2007

I’ve struggled with writing about this all day. Hubby has written it more eloquently than I could.

I will just add this:
Knowing that people from Texas to California to Pennsylvania to Chicago to New Zealand have been praying for us is amazing to me. And gratitude brought me a lot of peace. When we thought the worst, I sat with Carla and thanked God for all the little wonders this dog has brought me. And that brought peace and even joy. I am grateful that God put Carla in my life. She is His, not mine. He has blessed me with her. And if I have 6 days with her or 6 years, I will be grateful for the time he’s given us.

I thank God for:
*the time as a puppy she escaped from her kennel and greeted me at the door. First I was happy to see her and then I was bewildered.
*when Alex was a baby and the times she’s climb up to put her head in the bassinet to check on him.
*the times when Alex was little and we’d let him play outside the back door and Carla would follow him around. If you didn’t let her out, she’d run from window to window to watch him.
*Every walk we’ve taken.
*Every romp through the field and ball throwing session…even the ones in winter.
*Every time she’s let me bury my face in her fur.
*Every time I’ve gotten to go out and throw tennis balls for her.
*the times she’s thrown a tennis ball into someone’s drink glass.
*Every puppy she’s helped raise.
*the sheer joy in her face when she chases tennis balls or plays.
*the growly happy noises she makes when her favorite people come over.
*her being the neighborhood dog that all the kids love.
*the day a neighbor boy took her out to throw balls for her after some other kids had hurt his feelings. And he got to show her off as the dog who can hold three tennis balls in her mouth at once.
*her amazing recovery from knee surgery and how she was such a happy dog again without pain.
*every time she’s come over to me while I’m at the computer or shoved the bathroom door open to come say hi.
*the laughter she’s brought out in my boys when she’s chased them around the house after her stuffy.
*the time she pulled out my dog-loving friend’s earring from licking her face.
*that she loves baby carrots. Watching her chew those is funny.
*that she turned her nose up at the green bean diet we tried to put her on several years ago.
*that she can drive Louie crazy by saying “Boof” under her breath which send Louie into peals of barking.
*and every other moment she’s shared herself with us.

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Bad Attitude Wednesday, Jan 17 2007

I’ve mentioned that the last few weeks of homeschooling have been an up and down experience. It started with little issues that I should have addressed when they were little. And so we cracked down. Removed toys. Revoked priviliges. And then we’d have a good day and think there was h hope and then a bad day again. Monday was a bad day after a great weekend so the bad day took me by total surprise. So he spent the entire day in his room alone. Snacks and lunch in his room. No books to keep him company. No guinea pig to make little wheeping noises while he fell asleep. Harsh. And seemingly the reality check he needed.

Tuesday was perfect. Today we had attitude again. Not his this time. Mine. All mine. He did perfectly. Even with a grumpy mother. All the more credit to him beacause he had another amazing day. I don’t know what my problem was, but I just wanted out. Send him back to school. Let someone else take care of him. Ugh. Awful. And the crazy thing was that I knew where to turn for help. And at one point this morning I refused. It was almost to say, “I’m comfortable here. I don’t want Your help. I have a right to be grumpy. It’s my turn.” I have not felt so miserably childish in a long time. When I finally asked for help, I couldn’t do it in an eloquent way. Not in a long pleading monologue. It was a simple, “Help me. Please.” And the clouds…well, they thinned. They didn’t disappear completely, but we made it through. And Alex proved he’s made of some tough stuff. Proved that he’s learned his lesson. Shown that he can perservere. And that’s amazing.

So this weekend, Hubby and I are getting a much needed break. The boys are spending the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. I hope in that quiet I can reconnect and renew. And lose the attitude. Time to take a lesson from a nearly 7 year old on that.

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Animals in the Stable with Baby Jesus Saturday, Jan 6 2007

I thought Hubby might get these posted, but he’s been really busy finishing the basement so the carpet could go in Thursday (yeah! done, beautiful…). So it’s a little past Christmas, but enjoy anyway.

On Christmas Eve we took the boys to church where they had the nativity set up complete with live animals.

So here we go. Animals found in the stable with baby Jesus:
Goats and sheep…sounds about right:

Donkey…maybe the one Mary rode in on:

Camel:

Yak? I’m not sure, but, you know, cow-ish kind of animal…close enough:

But, this. This, I’m sure, is what you’d find in Bethlehem 2012 years ago. I present to you the Christmas Kangaroo:

She’s adorable. And so soft. And great little paws. She’s seven months old. It was really neat to see her and touch her. But as part of the nativity, I’m just not sure about that.

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